I have a new Blog http://www.scottkiley.com/

Actually I have a new website! Scottkiley.com
It keeps track of my bogs and thing's that I twiiter.
Yes I am very self absorbed
please stop by I dont think I have had one visitor yet!

http://www.scottkiley.com/

The boy who cried "love"

I don’t know what is wrong with me, if it is ADD or if it is some sort of insecurity? It is probably mostly based on some emotional stunted growth that has left me as mature as your average JR. higher. But whatever the reason is I honestly don’t see anything wrong with wanting to feel loved! I mean who doesn’t want that right?

I suppose the only thing wrong with my desire to be loved is how I go about it. I do this to my wife, but I have done it ever since we started dating. A brief history; the beginning of our relationship every so often I would work late in the warehouse alone. For whatever reason this frightened my girlfriend (now my wife) because of course I could die! Not that anyone has died at my work, that I know of, or even that I have ever had an accident there. But if I didn’t answer the phone or call her back it was not because I was busy, it was obviously because I was pinned under the wreckage of some freak forklift accident breathing my last breath and she would never see me again!

Now a days one of my favorite things to do is have a heart attack., if I am working under the kitchen sink and she walks by to see what I am doing of course my legs spasm and my arms fall limp and I’m dead! And so she will run over and shake me and cry out “ NO MY LOVE IS DEAD DON’T LEAVE ME SCOTTIE!!” and I laugh and wake up and she is visibly upset and she says “why do you do that?!” and my answer, “LOVE” she couldn’t tell me with words she loves me more than when I witness her reaction to my demise! Since I wont be able to see the day I die, not at least to see how everyone takes it. I want to know my widow will act appropriately! So to accomplish this I momentarily fake my own death. I have had heart attacks on the sofa while watching TV or in the back working on the yard. I suppose the fact that I am over weight makes it more believable to her that I could actually be having a heart attack at a moments notice! But still, come on, how many heart attacks can one guy have!? I told her recently that we need a safe word,( we choose “banana hammock”) a word I will say when I am really, really having a heart attack. so I wont end up like the proverbial boy who cried wolf, and no one believed him and he did die, not by heart attack though, he was eaten by wolves!

Chalk one up for fat people!

It is not too often I come across something on the internet that makes me happy that im on the obesse side of healthy. But as much of a pain in the butt as it is, and as awkward as it can be to go about with my day to day life being pleasantly plump. I have to say the chances of something this awful happening to me are slim to none (pun intended of course!)

Now true, I am not a UFC fighter, this is obvious, what I am saying is that my stout little chubby legs probably would not snap off on most days of the week, weather I was kicking someones butt or not!

So I think I will grab an extra glass of milk, and then take the stairs, to avoid my legs going "Gumby" next time I need to kick someone!

THE REPORTER

MEET THE NEW REPORTER FOR

THE REDLANDS DAILY FACTS

SO MICHELLE TODAY GOT NEWS THAT SHE WAS HIRED BY A LOCAL NEWSPAPER IN REDLANDS! SHE WILL BE WRITING PIECES AND TAKING THE PICTURES THAT WILL BE PUBLISHED ALONG WITH HER ARTICLES! WE ARE BOTH VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS! ONE, THAT SHE FOUND A JOB! AND TWO, THAT ITS A DREAM JOB FOR HER, TO BE A PROFESSIONAL WRITER, AND IN ONE OF HER FAVORITE CITIES!

CONGRATULATIONS MICHELLE!

CUSTOMER (NO)SERVICE

WELL I HATE TO ADMIT IT, BUT ITS TRUE. IM A DELINQUENT. IM A DEBTOR. IM A SLOW-PAYING. PHONE CALL DODGING TROUBLE MAKER! I ADMIT THAT I WAS AN ENTIRE 20 DAYS LATE ON MY CAR PAYMENT!

I KNOW IT IS HARD FOR MOST OF YOU TO BELIEVE, AND I WILL CONCEDE THAT LATE, IS INFACT, LATE. THAT 1 DAY OR 20 DAYS DOESNT MATTER. BUT I KNOW THIS, FOR MOST CREDITORS, AND I HAVE QUITE A FEW, FOR MOST CREDITORS THEY DO NOT CALL YOU UNTIL YOU ARE PAST 30 DAYS LATE.

THIS COMPANY THOUGH WILL CALL YOUR MOM, YOUR WIFE, YOUR SECOND GRADE TEACHER, WHOM EVER THEY CAN THINK OF IF YOU ARE 5 OR 10 DAYS LATE.

TODAY I RECIEVED A PHONE CALL BASICALLY THREATENING REPOSSESION, AFTER I HAD ALREADY MADE A PAYMENT MIND YOU, IF I DIDNT CONTACT THEM BY HIGH NOON!

WHEN I CALLED THEM AND ASKED THAT THEY PLEASE MAKE A NOTE TO CALL MY CELL PHONE NOT MY HOME PHONE (SOMETHING I ASKED THEM TO DO AFTER I MISSED MY FIRST PAYMENT WHEN THE LOAN WAS BRAND NEW MONTHS AGO) I WAS TOLD "WELL IF YOU WOULD JUST MAKE YOUR PAYMENTS ON TIME WE WOULDNT HAVE TO MAKE ANY PHONE CALLS!" OH NO YOU DIDNT! I WAS SO MAD. ANYWAY TO ISSUE HAS BEEN RESOLVED AND IM SEEKING A REFI LOAN TO GET A WAY FROM THIS AWFUL COMPANY!

TOO LATE FOR SAVE THE DATE

SO THE WEDDING DATE IS 11.28.08

AND WE WERE GOING TO DO OUR SAVE THE DATES, WE WANTED TO USE FALL LEAVES AND SPELL OUT SAVE THE DATE, OR JUST THE NUMBERS 11.28.08.......

BUT SINCE OUR WEDDING IS GETTING CLOSER I GUESS WE NEED TO JUST SEND OUT THE INVITES!

MAN THIS WEDDING PLANNING STUFF TAKES ALOT OF WORK! SO ITS OFFICAL 11.28.08 MITTEN BUILDINGIN REDLANDS, FALL COLORS, OPEN BAR! (MAYBE NOT LOL)

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE

MITTENS IN DECEMBER??

Well friends you might need to bundle up at our wedding, if our plans and intentions workout we will get married this year on 12/13/08. I found a place I like that is in Redlands called the Mitten Building........ I am still investigating if it ever was a giant mitten factory. It is a huge brick building with wood floors and rafters inside. With 50ft high ceilings, it has two stories to accomadate a ceremony and a reception............. Ill post some pics and keep everyone posted. Most importantly it seems to be within our modest yet reasonable budget.